Luna
by Kotodami
Summary: A dark story of a girl and her lost love.


**Luna**

Empty.. That's all I feel anymore. Everyday, I sit in the furthest corner of my room on the cold floor, lights off. Dark.. That's all I ever see anymore. You know when your parents tell you, you never know what you had until it's gone? Its true. He was my everything, my sunshine in the darkness, my warmth on a cold day. Everything.. And I never told him once. He would have laughed it off anyway. We were close.. But not on that level I suppose. We were childhood friends. Love never developed between us, on his side at least.

Tears.. They've stopped falling since it happened. At one point I thought that'd be impossible, but everything is possible I suppose. Expect maybe cold fusion. He called me Luna, even though it wasn't my name. That was the way he meet me, under the moon. Our parents went to a function that was too boring that I escaped to a small meadow behind the building. On the dew-wet grass, we met. He called me Luna then and forever after.

As time passed, we became to call, see, meet each other more often. Our parents teased us with marriage proposals. I never would have believed it then that they were really serious. Every time we saw each other, I slowly began to have heavier feelings for him. His blue eyes, his dark hair, his pale skin. Every time we met, I noticed something new. Something exciting to me.

Eventually I noticed that my feelings were not so childish anymore. I don't think he knew. If he did, he never let on to me that he knew. Even now, his blue eyes and bright smile are burned into my memory. Each time my eyes close it's what I see. I can't sleep because of it. It makes me hurt so badly inside, but never as bad as he felt. I never knew his feelings, his sadness, his feelings of being overwhelmed. Why couldn't he tell even me? I'll never know now.

Shock.. It was the only thing I could feel the day I learned what happened to him. He told me he wanted to go far far away, but I never would have thought me meant to so very far. My mother woke me late at night one day, her gray hair sprawled around her face in disarray. I could see her tearstained and flushed face. The first few days I didn't eat, sleep, or breathe really. I remember rocking back and forth in my closet, hugging my knees tightly. He was gone, forever.

When you're a child, forever isn't so long. Daddy, you were gone forever. I don't want to talk to you forever.. As a child, it means nothing really. But when you grow up, you learn forever is forever. And forever is how long he will be gone from me.. Isn't it? He committed suicide, I was told that late night. The first thing I remember was laying on my bed looking up at the window near my ceiling, arm outstretched. I was looking at the light pouring in from the window through my fingers. I didn't know how long I had been awake or if I had even slept. Empty.. That's all I felt.

Sapphire.. That was the color his eyes reminded me of. No one's eye's will ever sparkle as much as his. This story I tell is sad, pathetic and a little on the occult side. Maybe I should stop here, let the rest be untold. No.. You must know how wrong things went and then how right only to end up worse.

Lonely.. It's how I felt even in a crowed room. Everyone attempted to console me, but I didn't want them. Their arms were nothing but flesh to me. Flesh I didn't want to touch. His arms were the ones I missed. His hugs were the only ones I ever wanted anymore. I remember standing at the very rooftop where he left me forever. The cold air whipping my long hair around. Luna is what he named me that night, and here I stood beneath the very moon that taunted me with his love.

The more that I think about it, maybe he did know how much I loved him. Maybe he even loved me back, but the weight of the world was just too much for him. Maybe he felt he couldn't escape everything but me so he included me as well. Maybe..

Those nights after he was gone were the most desperate ones I've ever felt. At one point I went a little crazy and started clawing at myself. It was childish, throwing a tantrum but I couldn't help myself. Since then I've worn billowing long sleeves to hide the hideous scars I made that night. I even went into a witchcraft store and bought a book. I thought during those times that maybe my love for him could bring him back to me. His blue eyes, his dark hair, his pale skin.. I wanted to see them once again.

One dark night, one of the nights where the moon hides from the world and the only thing is left is darkness and scattered stars, I set up a candle circle the way the book told me, used the chalk the way I was told, wrote what it said and even said the words it said. It didn't work.. Of course it didn't work. I thought. I broke down and cried there, lost hope of seeing him again. I knew only one other way to see him again.

Perfect.. Do you know when a paper is crinkled into a ball? You can flatten it out but it'll never be perfect again. The same logic can be applied here.

Standing on the edge he has stood, I felt the breeze he felt. I looked down at the ground he had landed. What did it feel like, when he hit the ground? Was he conscious? Did he feel it? Maybe he fainted before and didn't feel a thing. Only one way I could find out. I don't remember exactly how it felt, falling. I do remember the elevator feeling you get on rollercoasters and air rushing past. I didn't know how it felt hitting the ground though.

Cold.. Something very cold was touching me below my knees and on my back. It felt almost cradling. I remember asking myself if death was supposed to feel this way. When I opened my eyes all I could see was darkness. His arms were always warm, like sunshine. When I first realized what I did, I knew he wasn't the same, but I could love him anyway. I could love him in any way he needed me to love him. The version of him I fell in love with was warm like a summer's day, the way I learned to love him was cold like a winter's dark night.

He didn't have his blue eyes, dark hair or pale skin anymore. He's so hard to explain to people who've never seen him in this way. Frightened… it was how I felt when I first saw him this way. He was gentle and clung to me. He didn't let me hit the ground, leave the way he did. This is where I learned he loved me as much as I loved him. He didn't have a defined physical shape anymore.. He didn't have legs even. He was pure darkness. He had a head-like shape, even arm and hand-like shapes. Basically, he was a torso made of pure, cold darkness. If you've ever seen drawings of a genie, you'd know how his lower half looked, that smoke like shape.

I didn't care. He was back with me. It was all I wanted and it was what I got. Speaking… He couldn't do it anymore. It, too, didn't matter to me. I could understand him all the well. For weeks we were in a happy-like state. I didn't notice the lack of color in my skin or the looseness of my clothes. I had him back and it was all I wanted. Food and sunshine didn't matter. I talked to him for hours and laid in his cold arms. He couldn't reply verbally, but I knew what he was saying. Luna.. It was what he named me and it fitted. I was his moon and he was my night.

I slowly fell into a space that I couldn't leave. I was consumed by the need to stay with him, keep from losing him again. I clung to what of him I had left. To me, no matter how crinkled and torn an imitation of what he once was, he was perfect. Because of my long sleeves I didn't notice what was happening to me. Not at first anyway. I felt weaker.. Slowly. He made sure that I wouldn't notice. At least, not until it was too late. Even now, as I write this he'd finishing me.

Thin.. I never thought I'd have a problem with being too thin. He was so captivating to me I didn't notice as my slender frame became frail and fading. I couldn't see what he was doing to me, his cold love was the only thing I could ever concentrate on anymore. My parents didn't know where I was, how could they? I'm sure even if they found me they wouldn't recognize me. Even I was a pale imitation of myself. He was all consuming.

As I became weaker, he grew stronger. I noticed when he gained legs and had a definite frame to him. It made me so happy to see him becoming more and more like his old self I didn't even notice my slow deterioration. I loved him more then even I knew, but I learned only too late that this was not him. Not anymore. His soul had returned to the living world dark and twisted, feeding off my love and my own life. I only realized in the end of the darkest night that he saved me that night for only one reason. To kill me himself and gain my life. Even now, as I begin to fade I realized that he was no longer my love but something dark and evil my obsession had unleashed upon the world.

Death.. It's not as scary as they say in movies and books. Maybe, to me though. I think it's because I know that as I die, nothing will happen where I'm going, but even as in the form he took, which at the finale of what I started he took on my appearance, his evil will terrorize the world. I'm too weak to care any longer. I'm fading into the night.

Luna.. It's not my real name, but it's the name he gave me. How fitting..


End file.
